3 Ways I’m Tempted to ‘Unfollow’ My Husband

Marriage

Oct 20

In the like, unlike, follow, and unfollow world of social media I sometimes feel it creeps into my personal life.

Take my marriage for instance. My husband is different from me. The law of “opposites attract” is very real in our marriage.

While I love my husband and look forward to spending the rest of my life with him, the day in and day out of life’s demands can be challenging.

And I believe God planned it that way.

Here are three ways I’m tempted to ‘unfollow’ my husband and the lessons that follow:

Time

While husbands and wives are to serve one another, we are not to be at each other’s beck and call 24/7. Healthy boundaries please! When I ask my husband to do something, I want it done – yesterday.

While he may need a gentle reminder – or two – of my request, I must still be full of grace and kindness.

How many times has the Lord Jesus reminded me of something He has asked me to do before I did it (or have yet to do) and been ever so gentle? *sigh*

Introvert vs. Not

“Who are we having dinner with this weekend?” Like a cuckoo clock, the question pops out of my mouth every week around the same time. Not my husband. It’s not that he doesn’t like people (well, not all the time), he’s just not wired for connection like I am.

Even when we do socialize with others, I’m tempted to critique his social skills when we’re alone again. “Did you look at him when you were introduced”? You should smile more. You looked depressed most of the evening.” (I get annoyed just writing that. Leave the man alone!).

Can you imagine Jesus being that way? There is a place for constructive criticism, but I need to let my husband be who he is and enjoy him just as he is - like Jesus does with us.

After all, the Bible tells us wives are to honor and respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33). There is a much better return on investment in praising his wonderful qualities than nit-picking minor issues.

Confrontation

If it were up to my husband the word wouldn’t exist. Healthy confrontation and conflict are areas both my husband and I have had to grow. Neither of us learned this well early on.

I prefer to confront, get it over with, and move on with the fun stuff of life. He likes to pretend it didn’t happen with the hopes it will go away. Our marriage counselor, along with the Boundaries In Marriage book, has taught us differently.

We are to calmly discuss the issue, empathize with each other, and work toward a solution together- not against one another. This is a work in progress and I still like my way better – quick and dirty.

But again, I am reminded this is not how Jesus would react. He would be so wonderfully kind, patient, and loving (Matthew 11:29).

How about you? How does the Lord use your marriage to mold and refine you?