Have a Better Marriage Today! (Part 2) plus *Bonus*

This is part 2 of 2 of Have a Better Marriage Today!

Make Him a Priority

Kids are demanding by nature but resist the urge to make them a priority before your husband.  I’m not talking about ignoring their needs.  As godly moms we will always take loving care of our children.

I’m talking about not letting the kids control your every waking hour.  It’s good to set healthy boundaries and let your children know your marriage is a priority.

Children whose parents make marriage their priority feel much more secure than those who don’t.  After all, we married our husbands to be with them for a lifetime, not the kids.  They will eventually leave and if the marriage is not a priority, it will be an even more difficult transition to the empty nest.

Make Time for Him

This is a big one!  We are all so busy, but our husbands have to come in at number one in our earthly relationships.  Plan ahead so you have energy for your husband when you see him.  This can include both mental and physical preparation.

My husband encouraged me to nap when the kids little.  His priority was my being rested and having energy when he came home, not a spotless house.

Also, setting my goal early in the day of preserving energy for him made it easier to maintain my reserves for him and not empty myself for everyone else.

Defer to Him

Make sure the kids know how important dad is and show honor and respect to him, no matter what their age.  This makes for a much more secure and pleasant home even if you think your husband “deserves” little respect.

When the kids come to you with questions, be sure either to defer them to dad or to include him in the decision-making process.  When I asked my husband, he said I could defer the kids to him and after being with them all day.  I happily complied!  The kids started going to him first when he was home, and I welcomed the break from endless questions.

Respond to His Bids

Our to-do lists are endless!  But responding to your husband’s bids for your attention must be a priority.

God gave us marriage for many wonderful reasons, the most important of which is to show His committed sacrificial love to a hurting and lost world.  Our marriages must be our most important earthly relationship and is always worth our time and attention.

The dishes and laundry can wait, but not your husband.  Taking the time to nurture our marriages both emotionally and physically benefit both husband and wife. 

Dream with Him

I have read husbands can fall in one of three main categories:  The Dreamer, The Command Man, and Mr. Steady, or any combination thereof.

My husband is a dreamer mostly.  I am the practical one on the ground holding the string for his balloon floating in the air.  It’s okay to dream with your husband.  This is something I didn’t know early on in our marriage.  I felt I had to corral my husbands “pie in the sky” ideas (or so I thought).

I didn’t realize he was just dreaming out loud and had no intention of actually following through on these verbal wonderings.  It wasn’t until I read about, and my husband confirmed, he was just dreaming out loud.  I was greatly relieved.

He was never planning on acting on everything that popped into his head and my constant balloon popping discouraged him as well as exhausted me!

*Bonus* Join Him

Fishing, woodworking, or cars not your thing?  Join him anyway.  Or at least just be there with him.  We get much more satisfaction our of sharing experiences than just doing them by ourselves.

We would join our girlfriends in activities we normally not do because it is important to her.  How much more should we join our best friend, our husband, in what is important to him?

This shows him love and support and helps strengthen the relationship.  We could learn a new skill – and more about our spouse at the same time!  Then next time, he could join you in a hobby you enjoy.

It all comes down to doing the things that strengthen our marriage and bring us closer together, not push us apart. 

Loving our spouse the way Jesus loves us is never easy, but produces the best results.  Praise God He knows what it is like to be a wife and gives generously all we need for this beautiful high and holy calling!

For more inspiration and encouragement check out these other posts: