Forgiveness Verses Condemnation

I have been following Jesus for a long time. I have gone to countless church services, attended numerous Bible studies and read thousands of Bible verses over the years. So you would think that anything coming from my lips would sparkle with divine blessing and drip with kindness.

Unfortunately, not so.

While my heart cry is to only speak words helpful for building others up (Ephesians 4:29), James tells us in chapter 3 verse 8, “no human being can tame the tongue…”.

This verse has rung true in my own life more times than I care to count and attempting to tame the tongue will forever be an unwelcome challenge this side of heaven.

But what about those hurtful things I have said? What about those words from yesterday, last week, a year or even ten years ago, etc. that still evoke a dreadful cringe when provoked from the recesses of my mind?

If every effort has been made to make amends to those offended and confession and repentance have been offered up, forgiveness granted by God and hopefully others, what else is left?

Forgiving Ourselves

If an almighty perfect God can forgive us, why is forgiving ourselves so hard?

I’d like to suggest the struggle is not so much forgiving ourselves, but two of satan’s most tried and true surreptitious weapons…

Pride

It is embarrassing, if not mortifying when we sin, intentionally or not. We’d like to think we are past this point and have matured to a certain level where we are no longer tempted, or able, to say such things – where we have a modicum of control.

It can feel as if we have slid back down the mountain to the starting point. Not to mention how horrible it feels when we hurt someone simply out of thoughtless words and not being slow to speak (James 1:19).

Condemnation

*Do not allow the evil one to use your mind as a garbage dump and continually beat you over the head with sins already forgiven.*

We fail. We fall. We sin. And not always in isolation where we can easily work it out with a loving Father who we know will gladly take us back when we confess and repent. Many times, we need to humble ourselves in the presence of our brothers and sisters and confess, repent and apologize to them.

Face to face is always best, but a phone call may be our only option. Try to avoid texts or emails in this scenario (trust me, I know!). They may or may not be willing to forgive the damage we may have inflicted no matter how earnest our pleas. Or in the worst case, they may sever the relationship all together deeming it irreconcilable.

But when we have done all we can do (Romans 12:18), we must not allow our enemy to condemn us over and over again with forgiven sins. We have no control over whether others will offer forgiveness or not.

Do not allow the evil one to use your mind as a garbage dump and continually beat you over the head with sins already forgiven.

Sort It Out with the Lord

We have all been there. We have all wronged and been wronged. The pain, the sting, the gut punch… these remembrances can loom close to the surface, recalled easily when triggered.

So what is the solution to our dilemma?

Instead of stewing and allowing satan to steal your joy, and potentially your ministry , bring your of feelings – the whole lot of them- to the Lord and start working through them one by one.

Do you still need to confess and repent of something to God or to someone else?
If you have already done so, do you need to forgive yourself, move on and cast-off condemnation (Romans 8:1)?
If applicable, repent of the pride behind it.
Lay it at the Lord’s feet asking Him to help you let it go as well as to completely forgive others as He has forgiven you (Matt 6:14, Mark 11:25-26).
If the offended person is still unable to forgive you, pray for their hurt to heal and their hearts to be softened. Also allow this hurt to remind you to be generous in your own forgiveness of others.
If you still feel satan hammering you with condemnation, speak freedom Scriptures out loud like the following as often as needed, applying them to yourself.

Example:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV

Speak: “I have confessed my sins to God, and He is faithful and just and has forgiven my sins and cleansed me from all unrighteousness.”

Example:

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it -the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, Ro. 3: 21-24 ESV

Speak: “I have the righteousness of Christ through faith and am justified by His grace as a gift.”

Example:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, Matt. 6:14 ESV

Speak: “I have forgiven others their sins against me and my heavenly Father has forgiven my confessed sins as well.”

Find Scriptures that apply to your situation. Ephesians 6 reminds us our warfare is not against the physical world, but the spiritual (vs. 12) and must be dealt with as such.

Refuse to stay in bondage any longer. Break free from shackles of guilt and condemnation our enemy continually tries to strangle us with and live in the beauty of your freedom in Christ.

If you still struggle with the hurt you have inflicted or has been inflicted on you, consider speaking to a trusted minister or counselor to help process these feelings and finally break free.